Diary Entry

WALT use descriptive language 

This week for writing, we read a book called 'The ANZAC Violin'. It's about a guy called Alexander Aitken who brought his violin to war. During war he would sometimes play his violin to his comrades and would keep it safe when it was time to go. He was a New Zealander who fought for America in war. In the story he also wrote a diary entry about his in life in war. When Alexander got wounded in war, he left and never came back but he started to make a diary of his own telling others what he came through in war. The that violin he owned was taken by a school after he died in 3 November 1967. 

On Monday after we read the story, we started thinking about making a diary entry of our own but on Alexander's point of view. The part my diary entry is about is when Alexander is in war trying to help his comrades. Before we could start writing, we had to plan it out first and make a attribute chart and add words that we could add into our diary. In our attribute chart we had to put what we could see, hear, location, movement and temperature. Using this we could start writing a little bit about our diary entry.

What I enjoyed was writing a diary entry about war. What I found difficult was trying to think of a way to start and end my diary entry.

Here is a paragraph of my diary entry:

As I attentively took my wounded leg out of a misty deep hole, I thought for a moment and looked back at it. I can clearly hear the deadly screams of my comrades seeking for help. I was feeling too agitated trying to move away from the powerful gunshots passing by and the roaring engines as they roughly crash into each other under the scorching sun. I stood my back really straight to help myself gain more energy, but right at that moment the deadly screams suddenly faded away as a colossal bomb landed in the middle of the hole making an enormous thud sound.

I couldn’t take it anymore, my wound was getting much worse as the pain couldn’t handle it. I tried to move away from the fire that the bomb caused, but my eyesight was too blurry and my ears started to ring so badly that it was threatening me. I pause for a moment. 

Suddenly, I unclearly saw a man starting to walk smoothly upon me, giving me a hand. But the only thing that I could remember right at that moment, before I could fall onto the sun baked grass that was burning my leg so dreadfully was. I felt like falling into a pitch dark hole with absolutely nothing around me.